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A Friday…..NOT the 13th……

Some time ago, I wrote an essay about a very challenging day.  Because I love to play with words and experiment with bringing out the positive picture from what might feel like a negative situation, I decided to invite Personification and Onomatopoeia to the party.  For today’s post, I wanted to play around with creating some graphics too and see what would show up on my fun-time palette……. I have had a marvelous time, and I hope that you enjoy the result.  Just click on the story title below to open it up…… 

A Friday……NOT the 13th (complete)

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Feeling My Inside-Space……

Inside-Space?  A strange term, I know.  But what does it mean?

I think that, as with many things intangible, it probably means something different for everyone.  And it can be quite difficult to describe. Some other names that I’ve heard are “in the zone”, “the aha moment”, “light”, “connectedness”, “enlightenment”, “reverence”, “the vortex”, “encapsulated from within”, “brightness of mind”, …… and there are probably many other terms that could be used to describe this very special feeling that we as humans can, on occasion, experience.  A feeling that takes us, for just a few moments, to a higher level of thought/understanding that is quite sublime.

For me, it feels like a timeless moment of complete stillness and silence that reverberates inside my entire being.  Not just in my head, but throughout my body too.  It doesn’t stay for long – literally just a butterfly-breath of time, but the aftermath lingers and is a source of great strength, comfort, and peace to my spirit.  I love this feeling and even more than that I love the profound and enlightening learning that always accompanies it.  Its effect is so personal and meaningful, that I tend to think of these experiences as deeply spiritual moments when God is whispering to my inner-ear.

And how can we pursue this state of being?  Look deeply into the pictures below and find some clues to follow……..  Take the time to find words that will be sign-posts to give direction and then see where the path takes you……. and remember to enjoy the journey.

 

Any comment?  I would love to hear from you…….

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Our Donny……. and my Captain Sunshine

 

Always smiling, friendly, kind and caring,

A free spirit, filled with enthusiasm and a zest for living.

Carpe diem!  Seize the moment was his theme,

He was my Peter Pan….. young at heart, and a dreamer,

 

But his life was cut short and my world came crashing ’round me……

 

God decided that he needed this boy,

So he took him away years ago.

And ever since then, (it’s been 17 years now……)

My precious, youngest son, has been out of my sight,

But never, ever out of my mind or my heart.

 

I’ll always miss him, think of him, long for him.

But while I have breath and the strength to do Life,

I’ll be grateful and cherish my memories….they’re so sweet…..

Of my dear, loving Donny ….. My Captain Sunshine!

 

Now he’s the angel who lovingly watches over me,

And as the years keep on rolling by …..

I’ll feel him close when I need him the most,

The memory of his smile and the warmth of his spirit

Will tenderly touch my heart and help me to live

In tranquility….. peace…… gratitude….. and love.

                                                                                             Shirlz….. 

 

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Sea….. Sound….. Sensation……

 

The book Gift from the Sea …. was an introduction into my life the value of tuning my Self inward through reflection, and seeking to learn from Nature.  That was a meaningful gift to me.   A minuscule flicker of light on the horizon down the road ahead in the journey called “My Life”.  Since then, the companionship of the sea and its many wonders have held a place of deep meaning and significance, and my love for its sound, beauty and the sensation of aliveness that it invokes in me is immeasurable.  Walking on the beach in my home-town, the place where I have spent most of my years….. brings quiet contentment to my soul.  Parking the car at my favourite spot, opening windows and resting comfortably on the backseat with a pillow and blanket, and listening to the sound of the ebb and flow of the waves as I fall asleep is nothing short of miraculous healing to a tired and weary mind, heart and body.  There have been times that I have longed to share this space with a companion – one that I feel a connectedness to.  One day, because this thought had been much on my mind, I decided to write it into consciousness…….

Walk on the Beach

This is a Fantasy…..until

Now, just a sentence in my mind…..

“How I long to walk on the beach with you, my love….”

Imagination is helping me to “feel” my fantasy.

The sand, sky, waves, rocks, intimacy, sounds, silence….

So much beauty is all around.

 

Dusk falls upon us as we walk hand in hand…..

We do not need to talk to communicate.

Intimacy joins us through gentle and demanding kisses as

Night,  the enshrouding darkness,  envelopes us in its arms.

We are tempted to share whispered thoughts, but instead….

Silence, Touching, this is what we choose.

 

Intimate caresses, using only senses, no words are needed…..

Love, ecstasy, senses, pleasure, intimacy….completeness…..

And we are one……

                                                                                                            Shirlz……

 

two person holding pinkies

Photo by Valentin Antonucci on Pexels.com

 

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Making a Difference……

Hello again….. More than a decade ago I attended a motivational seminar in which one of the pivotal speakers, a beautiful woman with long blonde hair, told us some of her life story, particularly with regard to her career.  She was, at the time the owner of a radio station in her country.  I cannot remember any of the specific details she shared about how she became involved in this project and what it meant to her, except for the phrase, “I wanted to make a difference.”  I do remember, with distinct clarity, the effect that those words had on me.  It was as though an electric charge ran through me from the top of my head down to my toes, and I knew, without any doubt at all, that this is what I wanted to do with my life……. make a difference.

black and white blackboard business chalkboard
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Still today, this is a deep desire within my being.  But often, when I consider the “how”, I feel overwhelmed by a kind of despair and helplessness because I don’t know how to achieve the dream.  I have done an in-depth visualization project, both in my head and on paper, with specific details of exactly what I want to create.  However, during the last few months, I have wondered deeply about whether or not I am just being foolish about wanting a dream that feels so far out of reach in practical terms.

close up of flowers
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In answer to my yearning thoughts, I received a gift….. A couple of days ago I listened to a podcast titled “Juggling and Bicycles” by Seth Godin on his Spotify/Akimbo podcast site which opened my eyes to the possibility of using exactly the tools that I have available to me.  It may not yet be the physical “Creation Studio” of the picture in my mind and designed on paper, but this portal can be a starting point.  And as I learn how to use the facilities available, and maybe even others that come my way, to scatter forth my heart and words over the global arena, maybe I will touch a heart… lift a spirit… teach a lesson….. Make a Difference.  The thought-nudge has given me a reason to smile and hope as I continue my journey in the company of my word-friends……

Thanks for listening……..

art beach beautiful clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

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Past, Future, Present…

Plastic, unreal, and silent within

Awake, but not alive, safely buried – in hiding.

Something is missing, but what is it? I cried.

Time moved along, and I heard no reply.

 

Facing myself, looking ahead, my

Understanding settles slowly, gently moving in pockets of

Time, tied with ribbons of adventure.

Unbelievable excitement and joyful anticipation

Reach their hands out toward me, inviting and pulsating – with

Evocative dreams that can lift me up to Shining.

 

Perspicuity, the lens through which I see me,

Reminds the Breath that life is different now – she is free to be.

Experiences line up and take their turn to

Show her all of the lessons to be learned.

Excitement and Adventure, Laughter and Truth

Nurtured by the love that is flowing within her, bringing

Treasures of honesty, gratitude, and Joy.

Past, Future, Present – the Journey goes forward.

Slowly moving along.

(Shirlz 2013)

 

Hello friends….. As you can see, I wrote this poem quite some time ago.  I was sitting on the bank of a huge river, relaxing and enjoying the beauty and peace of the magnificent surroundings.  My purpose was to spend the day resting and writing, but I remember a feeling of anxiety about being able to just produce words that had meaning and depth and authenticity.  Could I do that at a whim?  It would have been so much easier to just let the opportunity go by.  As I chose to take up my paper and pencil, it felt like I was on a high diving board, taking a risk, but a voice inside me said simply and quietly, “Take the dive and you’ll see just how and why… ” 

So I did.  I went inside and gathered the thoughts floating about my heart and mind and gradually a plan formulated and once that journey began I could then follow where it took me.  Although at the time only I knew what it all meant, why so many of the words were deeply significant,  even the reading today has been a pleasure trip for me.  Why?  I think that it is because of the very clear memory of that day, of that space in time, of my journey and where it had and still does take me.  I was living with so much inner awareness and connectedness at that time.

And so it is for us all.  Every moment we live with intent creates a memory that can be meaningful, not only for us but also to others who may cross our path.  However, if we allow ourselves to be stuck in the Past, or anxious about the Future, we will miss out on the Present and the satisfaction of being in the joy of the journey.  Maintaining this state of “presence” is an active choice from which we can so easily be distracted, but keeping on keeping on is worth our attentive effort.  As time has gone by this has become my learning as I have stepped in and out of the NOW…….

 

 

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Like a Bird in a Cage…..

Like a Bird in a Cage, awaiting flight,

Breathing excitement and joy,

The hexagon shape of the wire that holds her

Gives her vision, and permission to let her heart soar.

 

Like a bird in a cage, hiding safely away,

She watches and listens to others that play.

Her unruffled feathers, her strong beak – closed mouth,

Gives her silence, serenity, peace.

 

Like a bird in a cage, her bright eyes keep looking

Beyond the strong wire – far away

Her prison can’t hold her, her life will unfold her

She is happy and enchanted, forever and today.

 

Sometimes we hold on to our cages afraid to fly away, explore new opportunities, try something different.  We don’t have to be reckless or irresponsible to open our minds and hearts to new possibilities.  Even if we choose to stay home, we can soar and search, learn and share.  If we really want to find a way, the options are endless…….

photo of person holding picture
Photo by Alexis Azabache on Pexels.com

 

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As Time Goes ‘Bye…..

Hello……. Do any of you remember this song from the movie Casablanca?

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by…..

Last night I read a wonderful post on Facebook by my son, Brendon Corrigan, in which he tells his story about the death of his brother, Donny, almost 17 years ago. As I read, my heartstrings were, of course, encompassed about by emotion. But it also gave me cause for reflection of the years that have passed since that terrible time. And as I allowed my mind to wander along this path, I considered the fact that, amazingly, as time rolls onward and waits for none of us, it is literally saying “Goodbye” to what was… To the tragedy, the pain and suffering, the longing for what has been, what could have been, and so much more. This applies not only to the enormous trauma of accidents that change lives irrevocably, but also death…. that can be a cross-road giving us the choice to continue to live a meaningful life, or to die inside and become a shadow of our former selves. Maybe we choose or can only cope with somewhere in-between.

Whatever the case may be, it must be remembered that we choose. And our choice is important because it affects not only those we love and on whom we may possibly have some kind of influence, but the outpourings of our inner being connects with and colours the vibrations of all living things. Sometimes, I think, in our sorrow and seeking to bring relief to the Self, we don’t realise the great impact our disposition and frame of mind does have. We are sometimes blind to it.

When I write texts or send audio messages to friends, relatives, colleagues – in fact most people – I tend to end with the phrase “‘Bye for now….” putting a positive lilt in my voice. It feels so much better than the usual “Goodbye”, which has a heavier and more final ring to the sound. For me, my version of the greeting gives a message of hope for more to come. It is a thought that I carry with me continually and try to apply it to all things, particularly those that are challenging or in someway painful to me. And my contemplation today of this phrase – As Time Goes ‘Bye – has painted an added and gentle picture of Time in my mind….. like a sweetwater stream meandering past me, and waving with smiling encouragement to keep on keeping on…….a fundamental thing that does apply to my life….. and yours too?

‘Bye for now…..

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About the Waiting…..

Hello friends….. Today I want to reflect on an excerpt from something that I wrote in my Daily Pages last year. I find that it is sometimes a good thing to go back and see where I was and where I now find myself on my path. Maybe my thoughts will resonate with you…..

“I have much to be grateful for. Especially at this time when the overall picture of my life does look
somewhat chaotic. However, every time that I question my situation, and wonder if I should be doing something to fix things, I always get the distinct impression that I must just be patient and wait… and everything will work out just as it should be. This may seem to some, and even to me at times, a very passive and fatalistic approach, but when I really give it consideration, my heart tells me this is the best way forward.”

I tend to think of challenges with the phrase, “A year from now ……..” (meaning that things will have changed). I have found that this is a very comforting thought, especially in the midst of something that is proving to be a painful or undesirable phase. In some way, which I can’t really explain, it creates a space around my heart that makes it easier for me to cope. I think that maybe the best word to describe this feeling is Hope. Now, a year later after writing the above entry I can step back and look at what I have learned about the business of waiting……

Eckhart Tolle has a delightful suggestion which appeals to me. He teaches that instead of allowing the waiting game to be a negative state of hoping for some future change to occur, we rather use it as a tool to pay close attention to what is happening right now. This idea applies whether we are standing in a line waiting for someone’s attention, or if we are expecting news about some result, project or other endeavour. This is a practice that can be so much more satisfying and far less stressful than the normal way the we “wait”.

I chose the picture insert as a tool to try and imagine how it would feel to be a piece of coral embedded in the ocean. What would it be like to just be still….. waiting…..enjoying (in-joy-in) the habitat in which I found myself….. These are the words and feelings that came to mind….. Stillness, quiet, smoothly flowing water, gentleness, peace, ebb and flow of the tides, waiting, reaching out, light and dark, cleansing, heart-pulsing anticipation, watching, allowing the water to move me at its will……

I’m sure that if I were to go on a researching journey of just some of these words I would have a wonderful meander, increase my collection of words and learn so much more. But for this moment it is enough. This sea-creature has shown me that my “waiting” is not pointless or futile or any kind of foolishness. It is a way to be, from the inside out…. allowing the ebb and flow of what is, and what will be to gather me up and guide my journey. In my limited experience it is never wise to force our wants. Much better to allow them to evolve and happen when the time is right and to trust that what will be, will be.

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The Power of Wordz…..

Hello…. Today has been a day of reflection for me. I love to learn and one of my favourite mediums is the audiobook. It is such a practical way to focus with the mind and yet still be able to do something with the body. Usually I have more than one book on the go so that I can choose which suits my mood or my need and today, as I was taking my morning walk my listening was from the book “The Power of NOW” by Eckhart Tolle. The weather was freezing cold and everywhere around me was the aftermath of much rain and even flooding in some places. But my mind and spirit were in a space of warmth and upliftment as the sound of the voice and the content of the text gave me spiritual and intellectual food on which to ruminate. The power and beauty of the language and the sound of the voice has, for me, a healing and deeply satisfying quality and it never fails to give me complete satisfaction. Not because I am well-versed or well-practiced in the concept being taught, but I believe it is because what I am learning resonates deep within me and my own inner being responds with “Yes, I understand and this feels like truth to me….” Whenever I have moments of enlightenment or upliftment such as these, I am even more profoundly grateful for the power and influence of good language and words well used. The effect motivates me to rise up and keep on trying, wherever I may be on my Journey. And even though words are just sign-posts to give us guidance and direction, it is the FEELING that they bring to us that counts and makes all the difference.

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Making Decisions….

“I have made a VERY FIRM decision that exercise has to be my priority….” This was a life focus that I wrote down in the middle of April 2019. It was a deliberate choice and I was deeply committed to it at the time. But alas, I’m ashamed to admit that I have fallen off the exercise wagon more than once since then. Currently I am on it, with great determination to maintain this choice, and thereby reach my goals.

The point of confessing this weakness is to share with you what I have learned: Making decisions, especially ones that might not be our natural bent, but that would add value to our lives, can be quite challenging if they are to be maintained indefinitely. For me it has, so many times, been the case of easily being strong at the moment of decision, but then, at some point thereafter, allowing an unlimited number of distractions to lead me by the nose in the opposite direction. This begs the question, “Why do I so often and easily let myself down? ”

Having given this much thought, I have chosen to accept that, maybe, it is not so much the deciding that is the key element, but rather the courage to get up again and again when I veer off the path. And to keep on starting over when I have given in to the distractions that come along. I love those famous words by Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never give up!” Even though it may feel futile and enormously frustrating at times, that is the only way that there is the slightest possibility to move forward, inch by inch, on the journey toward arriving at any goal we set out to reach .

A “POSITIVE-ONLY” ZONE……

Several years ago I found myself discovering that my outlook, in general, leaned very much toward the Negative.  I had never seen myself that way because I felt that, in essence, I was a grateful person with a positive outlook who always tried to make the best of my life situation regardless of the circumstances.  And yet, in the pit of my stomach, there was always an ache, which I couldn’t describe or identify. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I felt dissatisfaction and disdain. Added to that was a lurking feeling that I best leave this ache alone….. which I did for most of my life.  But, eventually, when one is ready, the truth has to be faced and dealt with.  My problem was that I didn’t actually know what my truth was, and I was too afraid to go inside and find it.  Eventually, my life situation pushed me to the point where I knew that I just had to “face the music”, so to speak.

And so I began this journey, discovering many things, the most over-riding and surprising to me being the understanding that the “ache” was bred from a complete lack of confidence in myself.  I had totally submerged my own vibrant spirit in order to please everyone around me and be the right kind of person. I had to change or lose my connection to her completely, which I knew would be a kind of living death.  I spent so many hours trying to learn about “confidence” and what it meant for me… and one of the things that I did to remind myself to keep far away from the PIT (owned by the “ache”) was to display Words.  In my small home, I illustrated my purpose using several simple posters that read: “

THIS ROOM

IS A

“POSITIVE – ONLY”

ZONE…

I put them where I would be forced to see the words every day, and to help re-iterate their message I would deliberately read them, out loud or in my head, because I was utterly determined to be rid of this soul-destroying dis-ease that had permeated my entire being.  How did I know and come to accept that I was riddled with negativity?  By the words that I constantly used…. “I’m so sorry….. If it’s okay….. Let me explain…… Please forgive me…… ”  These were just some of the several phrases that were a normal part of my vocabulary and attitude.  Not just to be polite, but as an apology for being my-Self.  I was so afraid of displeasing others that I unwittingly created an inner life in the Negative Zone. 

That was quite a long time ago.  Where am I today?  Still battling with this challenge, falling off the wagon with ease and at regular intervals.  BUT….. now I understand how to recognise my Everest and when it blocks my path, I have more courage and tools to face and make the effort to rise up and continue conquering.  And my purpose?   I want to be able to give a shimmering Light and bubble of Hope to other wanderers who face their own invisible fortresses. To let them know that I share a glimmer of understanding of their battles and encounters, and that, as long as they never quit, they will learn to focus with intent, gain perception and keep moving toward, and into, the sparkling light of the Positive-Only Zone.

photo of a sign and eyeglasses on table
Photo by Binti Malu on Pexels.com

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